


Wondering thoughts and sleepless nights

by TheWeirdyMcWeirderson



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (veeery light tbh), Angst?, Break Up Aftermath, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Open Ending, Pet Names, Smut, boyfriend!Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWeirdyMcWeirderson/pseuds/TheWeirdyMcWeirderson
Summary: The reader can’t fall asleep due to memories of her relationship with Bucky, and he seems to be having the same problem.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes & Reader, Bucky Barnes/Reader, Bucky Barnes/You, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/You
Kudos: 21





	Wondering thoughts and sleepless nights

It’s midnight when you finally turn off the lights. The covers are quickly pulled up, as you shield yourself from the chill of the night. It’s weird how you’d gotten used to sleeping with a light blanket and now you need a comforter and two thick throw blankets to warm yourself up. Feet always clad in thick winter socks.

You close your eyes and try, just like you have been doing every night for the past month. Every night since Bucky’s been gone.

During the day everything is easier, you’re so busy you barely have time to think; you barely have time to remember. But night-time is a completely different thing. As soon as your head hits the pillows, the memories storm back in to torment you.

Sometimes it’s as if he was still there; it’s impossible to get his smell off of your sheets. Lord knows you’ve tried. Tomorrow you’ll have to head out and buy a new set, maybe that’ll help a little.

The light filtering through the blinds, and the dark curtains you spent three hours shopping for, reminds you of his first week staying over.

He’d lost it on the 4th day.

_“How can sleep like that? Let’s go buy some curtains, pleeease? C’mon, I don’t wanna go by myself.”_

_He’d held your hand the whole day, pulling on it to plant random kisses on your chuckling lips or to bury his face in your hair and whisper his cheeky jokes. You miss his laughter; miss the crinkles around his eyes._

You push the covers off your face, turning to lay on your back, blankly staring up at the ceiling.

_He’s whispering in your ear; your head is resting in the crook of his arm, using his bicep as a pillow while his hand plays with your messy curls._

_“I bet Mrs. Williams is going to give us the look again.”_

_He chuckles and looks down at you, happy to catch the way you scrunch your nose as the mortification spreads through your body. You don’t dare look at him; you know he’ll make fun of you for how loud you screamed when he popped out from behind the door and scared you. Your eyes are focused on the crack in the ceiling, which seems to amuse him even more._

_“You’re too cute for your own good. Love that lil’ nose scrunch.”_

_His unoccupied hand finds your face, fingers gently squishing your cheeks as he turns you towards him and places the softest of pecks on the tip of your nose._

You don’t want to admit it, but your body craves the warmth that he used to radiate; misses the weight of his arm around your torso and the tickles of his breath hitting the back of your neck. You sigh and turn again, hoping for sleep to claim you before your mind starts reminiscing too much.

_Your fingers are tangled in his brunette locks, lips parted as you try to pull in some gulps of oxygen. His eyes are locked on yours, breath fanning on your face and hands clutching you close. You’re both racing towards that precipice and you let your eyes slip closed when his fingers reach down between your moving bodies._

_“Fuck. Open those pretty eyes for me, doll.”_

_His movements are slowing to make sure he hits the spot right on, and you follow his request as a grunt tears through your throat. Your muscles clench down on him and he moans your name. A soft, breathless word on his kiss-swollen lips. You fall over and pull him down with you._

You close your eyes, accepting the bittersweet memories and your resolve’s defeat.

“Yeah right, over him my ass.”

Covers discarded to the side, you shuffle your feet to the kitchen, grabbing your fluffy Simba blanket on your way out and wrapping it around your shoulders.

You silently gaze out of the semi closed window as you occupy your mind while the water is boiling. A couple of books have been waiting for you, and you decide on which one to start as you prepare your cup of tea.

It’s eerie calm as you try to focus on the words; you’re on the third page but your mind hasn’t registered a single one. The tea is turning cold on the coffee table, but at least the scent is comforting.

A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts; you glance at the clock on the wall. It’s almost 1 AM. You get up and quickly glimpse at your reflection in the mirror by the bookcase; sweatpants and sweatshirt are presentable enough given the hour. You walk to the door and pull it open.

He’s standing there with a paper-bag in his hand. Something tells you it contains some of your favourite pastries.

“Guess I’m not the only one who can’t sleep, huh?”

“Yeah…”

You can’t really think of anything else to say. He looks just as good as he always did; dark-wash jeans coupled with a grey shirt under his signature leather jacket.

“Can I come in, doll?”

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeello, I hope you enjoyed the drabble. Thank you for reading and if you feel like it, let me know what you thought about it. :)


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